I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
