How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He passed out mid-signature
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
