She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
