OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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