dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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