guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
