butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
