Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
