yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
