Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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