She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
