Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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