i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
