There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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