I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
