hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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