yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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