he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
