Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
