We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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