yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
