I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
