so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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