my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
