Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
