you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
