it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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