i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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