my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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