I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
