I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
