Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
