answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
