Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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