WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
