I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
