he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
