I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
