then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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