the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
