I bet he comes in French.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
