Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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