Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
