theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
