1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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