Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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