I'm jealous of your bromance
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
