I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
