So drunk its hurt
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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