Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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